He Went To Jared :( - Medical Laboratory Science Humor

He Went To Jared :(

He Went To Jared. Not the jeweler, our neighbor Jared who "Makes his own crystals". Never again

Cubic zirconia would have even sufficed but all I get is STRUVITE. Can I wear magnesium ammonium phosphate without looking totally ridiculous? I think not. I do think Jared has a urea-splitting bacterial infection somewhere up in there that needs attending to. I'm not wearing a struvite necklace anytime soon so.... Urine diamonds are NOT a fashion statement. They're a medical emergency. 

It does make me ponder the thought though... I do drink a lot of tea which can increase the chance of oxalate crystals. Maybe I can make my own crystal jewelry as well? Nephro-Zirconia. I'm not expecting to sell to Jared or Zales or anything, but maybe local pawn shops at least? For little bit of beer money?

Fun Facts:

Urea splitting bacteria contain an enzyme, urease, that cleaves urea into pieces leaving behind byproducts that include ammonia and bicarbonate. This increases the pH of the urine and produces an environment where struvite crystals can precipitate out of solution if existent. Klebsiella, Pseudomonas, and Proteus are the most common UTI bacteria that can be attributed to this. 

Lab scientists generally refer to struvite's most common shape as "Coffin lids". Now there's an ASCP question! They are also present in normal healthy cats and dogs. In fact, it's the most commonly seen crystal in your pet's urine!