Is That A Banana In Your Nucleus?

 

This little guy REALLY likes finding and internalizing bacteria. Keep your granules in your cytoplasm for Pete's sake. Now I understand why hematology is some peoples favorite department *shivers*. 

Lecture and clinical never prepared me for this. "Report what you see. Report what you see. Report what you see." WELL THIS IS WHAT I SEE. How should I report this without getting sent to HR? 

What if the differential was full of these? Is that a novel disease? Hereditary Phallicytosis? HP. Hewlett-Packard would have to change their name. Man, they would need to build new ICD 10 codes and everything. ESSENTIAL phallicytosis first encounter. What happens when you get to Phallicytosis -- Subsequent encounter??

 I assume these still have normal function to them? So do they still perform phagocytosis? phagophallicytosis??? Phallic phagocytosis? Halitosis secondary to phallic phagocytosis? I feel like writing a new age book on disease here. 

We would probably come up with a nice, buffered, smoothed out way of reporting these. Just like the "green crystals of death". It's a fairly ubiquitous term around the lab but surely we can't report that on an official chart differential. "Azuric neutrophilic inclusions" or Critical Green Inclusion is the politically correct or the "Human Resources" correct terminology.