My pleasure. Ya'll come back now - Medical Laboratory Science Humor

My pleasure. Ya'll come back now

When a phlebotomist gets someone with perfect veins
Tourniquets? Where we're going we don't need tourniquets. Palpation? I'm going straight in. The space station could see this vasculature. That's a wonder of a cubital fossa. 

A good phlebotomist is worth their weight in antigen negative blood. Easily the worst part of clinical rotation was having to do phlebotomy. I was so nervous it took me almost 10 minutes just to get the tourniquet on my brave volunteer. I still never really got tourniquet application right. I spent hours practicing at home. Watching Youtube videos, borrowing arms. I pulled the hair off of an outpatient victim, I mean patient, once. I was so nervous I nearly dripped sweat onto another poor soul. I'm in the lab because I enjoy laboratory medicine and science and because I like to help people... FROM A DISTANCE. 

Every phlebotomist is a saint and you need to be recognized more for your work and contributions. 

Oh the things I saw during rotation. Isolation rooms, trying to draw on the pysch ward while 2 security guards held the patient down, trying to draw on a patient with severe Parkinson's all the while respiratory is in the room trying to do something at the exact same time. Nothing like a moving target. Nevermind having to draw the chain-of-custody legal alcohols on people who couldn't even stand up. 

I will always work at a larger institution that hires phlebotomists and doesn't make the techs do draws. And I will be forever grateful for your pre-analytical wizardry.